And now for a simple review about the things I most enjoy about flying with China Eastern.
1. Fun With Scheduling
Don’t you love that apprehensive feeling of being at the airport, watching the planes fly past, shopping at the duty free and watching people tearfully depart and reunite at arrivals like a creepier Hugh Grant in Love Actually? Well China Eastern have done you a favour, because when you book a flight with them you can experience these joys for at least 3 – 4 hours more than what you’ve planned. Even better, China Eastern know that you love the sensation of actually being on the plane, so they’ll keep you there on the runway for approximately 2 -3 hours before the pilot decides on an appropriate time to depart. When we flew with China Eastern the first time, it only took us 24 hours to return home from Hong Kong to Beijing, and we only missed an entire day of our holiday when travelling from Beijing to Taiwan – a bargain for the price!
2. The Food
After all the excitement of ambling around the airport and sitting still on the plane, you’ll be famished. Never fear! China Eastern staff will be on call to provide you with delicious, unidentifiable slop or if you’re a vegetarian – even better. You’ll get a single bread roll (without butter of course – China Eastern knows how you like to watch those calories!), crusty style, just like they do in France. They say Shanghai is the Paris of the east, after all.
3. The Entertainment
Now we all know that television makes our eyes go square, electronic devices make planes crash, if the wind changes our face will stay that way, and doing that too much will make you go blind. Thankfully, CHINA EASTERN is there to look out for your safety. Entertainment devices, such as ipods which are very easily mistaken for phones these days, are strictly prohibited during takeoff and landing. Bored? Read the safety manual, or close your eyes and pretend that the extensive turbulence is merely bumps on the most super fun and scary rollercoaster! The majority of China Eastern flights will not provide entertainment on the plane, because the kind and benevolent overlords of the airline of not want your eyes to go square as mentioned previously.
4. The Hotel
What’s that I hear you cry? Hotel?! Yes indeed. China Eastern know that you love the fun of being stuck at the airport and on the plane for hours on end, but naughty naughty for those of you with transfers! All that fun has made you miss your connecting flight. Don’t be sad, because CHINA EASTERN ARE HERE TO SAVE THE DAY ONCE AGAIN. They will kindly put you up in a hotel for the night, at the very cheap price of arguing with a customer service agent in broken Chinese for almost an hour. China Eastern’s hotels are located in the very heart of the outskirts of your transfer city, and will kindly provide you with dinner after your long day. You like pot noodle right? Of course you do! And don’t worry veggies, China Eastern will provide you with a corner shop ten minutes walk away where you can buy more of those bread rolls you love! (Remember, no butter – this is China after all, and you’re looking kind of chubby).
5. The Customer Service
All China Eastern’s customer service agents are highly trained in Chinglish, blank stares and little white lies, in order to add mystery to your exciting journey. Lost property? Think of it as a treasure hunt…it’s somewhere in the airport and it’s up to you to find it! Wow, so exciting. What about trying to arrange new flights or refunds? Please see number one. CHINA EASTERN GETS IT: YOU LOVE THE AIRPORT, SO THEY WILL KEEP YOU THERE FOR AS LONG AS THEY POSSIBLY CAN WHILST THEY TELL YOU THEY ARE SORTING THINGS OUT FOR YOU.
So now you’ve read my review of China Eastern I bet you can’t wait to book your cheap fare now and begin the epic journey! You might reach your destination, one day.